I know there was a point on
my original blog when I tried to argue that this wouldn't become a
forum for rants. That point has since faded into an obscurity so..... obscure that it is no longer recognizable.
I recently had an
altercation if you will while traveling to work. Yes, I was behind time (not quite late yet). Yes, I learned how to drive in Toronto. No, I don't think I drive like an asshole. With those caveats out of the way, let me explain my biggest complaint as succinctly as possible.
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BLIND SPOT. It's not safe, it doesn't serve any purpose other than to make me uncomfortable, and it really honestly and truly pisses me off. It also tends to initiate an uncontrollable extension of my middle digit in the general direction of said perpetrator. I'd like to believe that I'm able to maintain my chosen speed within a 5km/h window. I'd also like to believe that other drivers are both conscious of their own speed and also able to control it with some degree of accuracy. Events have proven me wrong on both counts.
Chris noted that while driving in Winnipeg, very few drivers actually know what speed
they are going. They only know whether or not they are passing, being passed, or happily hanging beside someone else. I think this same mentality has leeched over to Edmonton. In its slow, blue-hair-and-knuckles trek across the prairies, it has somehow morphed into a creature not entirely unlike
fat ignorant people.
I usually drive about 10km/h over the speed limit. I do this consciously, intentionally, and as accurately as my faculties allow. Why, oh why, when I am passing someone in the right lane do they then come to the realisation that at that very instant they too might also be able to flaunt the laws and travel at approximately my speed? Why do they wait until they're in line with my rear bumper to do so? Why do they sit there despite my now varying speed? I've tried accelerating. They match. I've tried decelerating, they do so as well. Oddly, I've made these movements even more aggressive lately and I find that they
seek out that same point in my blindspot!! I've gone so far as to accelerate rapidly, move into their lane and then return to my comfortable 10km/h over the limit, only to have them change lanes, catch up, and sit in my OTHER FUCKING BLIND SPOT!
Anger.
So back to the aforementioned altercation. I was on my way to work, trying to weave my way through Blind Spot Sitters, Slow Accelerators, and mixed in with this a liberal assortment of "I drive a bigass truck so it's my right to sit on your bumper" pricks. I can clearly see under those trucks anyway. I was signaling left to change lanes to get around a slow accelerator, when someone about 25m back in the left lane suddenly saw an unoccupied blind spot and moved to fill it. Mine.
WHILE SIGNALING. Because that's how they drive here in Edmonton folks, didn't you know? This deliberate movement served to block my pass, as I am not going to trade paint with people on the way to work. Rubbin' ain't commuting. That uncontrollable twitch in my middle digit happened again, and the blocker noticed this movement and looked over, seeing me in uniform. With a dumbfounded shrug of the shoulders intended (I think) to indicate his complete lack of understanding, he backed off and allowed the pass. I took the opportunity to get around the slow accelerator and continued on my way.
Perhaps this was a sign of respect to the uniform, perhaps it was just a random event. Either way, the event (not me being in uniform of course) happens almost daily. On almost every trip I take in my car. This only serves to make the twitch more prolonged and easier to trigger.
If you're driving in Edmonton, and you're fat dumb and happy sitting in someone's blind spot, and you see them either accelerate and change lanes, or hit the brakes and fall back, look at the driver. They're probably giving you a sign that you shouldn't be where you were.
They are probably me.
-J.
